Financial Analyst for Magazine Megapublisher

What's the one thing you desire most of all? You may think it's money, or power, or even sex, but what you want is someone like me working for you! I'll make you money, empower your budget to do more, and even make your spreadsheets sexy. Yeah, yeah, you've heard it. But I'm no one night stand employee, allow me to tell you why I'm more than just a lot of lip service.

I talk a mean game, but my analytical skills are second to none. I have applied these skills in my vast experience working in the coffee industry as a professional buyer of caramel cappuccinos. You see, in the fourth quarter of 2010 I noticed a sharp decline in disposable income and correctly forecast a bleak future if the caramel cappuccino budgetary discrepancies were not resolved. Anticipating the seasonal spike of caramel cappuccino demand, I made calculated adjustments to the allotted departmental spending. Allow me to illustrate this point with a pie chart.

End of 2010 expenses:

Proposed 2011 budget:


As you can see I've successfully eliminated the unnecessary expenditures (food, drink) in order to accommodate the more vital areas. And by removing the unnecessary component food I have increased the effectiveness of Prada purchases.

I'd like to apply these principles to your business and trim the fat on your operating expenses. Just think how sleek and sexy your company will be with a sharp go-getter like me reigning in the excess. As a financial liaison I'll make spreadsheets that will rock your world, graphs and diagrams that will satiate even the most penny-pinching of corporate executives, and I'll put together PowerPoint presentations that will give your board members goosebumps. That's right, I put the fine in finance.

So let's talk, caramel cappuccinos on me.

Best Regards,
Zack Eliasz