You're sitting at home with a cup of coffee, or you're at work (I'm jealous), or maybe you're just RSSkimming for something to read on the train— you need someone experienced, trustworthy, and knowledgeable. Well, I'm happy to tell you that I'm none of those things. I am young (jealous?), full of wit, and google words to make sure I'm using them to the best effect. I will not write about things that matter. In fact, I'm going to write about my boyfriend's cat, inane experiences I've had working in administrative jobs, and my profound ability to dress to impress.
I take my work seriously, and you're guaranteed to be at least a little bit interested from time to time. You'll get a chuckle out of my blind ambition to apply for 100k+ jobs to pay off my 100k+ debt. You'll appreciate my ballsy use of irrelevant and sometimes even irreverent anecdotes in hypothetical cover letters for positions I'm not even remotely qualified for.
And it gets better! Being unemployed I'll post somewhat frequently and if you have the pleasure of being connected to me on any social networking site I'll cram every last post down your inbox' throat. And if that isn't enough to whet your appetite or mute me on facebook, I'm going to document the (sometimes desperate) attempts to get the attention of HR managers all over Chicago via video resumes, photographic demonstration of my abilities, and lewd text messages sent to sports journalists.
I eagerly await your readership and look forward to mildly entertaining you.
Best Regards,
Zack Eliasz
putting the ploy back in employment
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